Can You Hear Me Now?

Confession: Sometimes I feel like my kids see me as more of a friend than an authority figure.

Yeah I know, it's like the cardinal rule of parenting. Be their parent not their friend. I try to excuse it by saying that they are so young, they won't even remember half of what transpires between us in these years. Which, really makes me sad. But that is for another blog post altogether. I guess it stems from the fact that growing up, my mom was my best friend. She was a very young, single mom, and I had very little discipline.

Discipline has never been my strong suit. I hate confrontation. I hate yelling. I hate people not liking me, or being mad at me. Yeah, I know. I am a big pansy. Sometimes I get really frustrated with the lack of respect my kids show me, when I know it's my own fault. I wind up resorting to yelling and ranting in a ridiculous tirade that my kids don't even really understand. It certainly isn't effective discipline on any level. My husband does a better job with discipline than I do.

Hubster is stricter in general than I. He is less likely to let them get away with their shenanigans. He's the one who would first say no to an inappropriate request (no you can not have a DVD player in your room, you're 3) or deny leaving the house in a questionable outfit (you're not going out in that). But there are certain things that we both agree are just good, normal parenting ideas. For example, we don't think that kids really need cell phones. I might concede to getting a tween or teen who is out of the house a lot, one of those prepaid or you- can-only-call-so-and-so models. But really, that is about it. Unless you are old enough to have a job and buy it and pay the bill yourself.

So, today when I picked up my daughter at camp the following conversation transpired:

Child: Mom, Annoying friend #1 has a cell phone.
Mom: No honey, she doesn't.
Child: Mom, she does. She let me see it.
Mom: I am sure it was just an old phone that doesn't work anymore.
Child: Mom, she let me call and talk to annoying friend # 2 on it.
Mom: Wait- you really called someone on her phone? It wasn't her mom's phone?
Child: It was hers. She really has one.
Long Pause.
Mom: Well, that's just ridiculous.
Child: Mom, can I get a cell phone?
Mom: Hell No! (okay I didn't really say hell, but I wanted to. I really wanted to. Actually I wanted to say 'No fucking way', but that wouldn't have been such a great idea)

So, I come to find out that the child actually does have a cell phone. She is six. Six. Did I mention she is six? Six. Siiiiiixxxx. What the hell? I mean, I've admitted the whole we're stricter-than-the-average-2008 parent and all but come on. Six? Really? Please tell me it's not me.

Some of our friends have kids who are in the ballpark age range of ours. Some of them have TV's and DVD players in their room, Wii's, PlaySations, their own phone lines, really expensive clothes, toys, etc. but I have yet to encounter a six year old with a cell phone. What on earth could she need a cell phone for?

Um, hi Suzy, it's me Jamie. Meet me at the playground in 5 minutes okay?
Um, hi Suzy, it's me Jamie. Can you come over and play dolls?
Um, hi Suzy, it's me Jamie. I'm going to grow up to be a little spoiled bitch that no one can please because my standards are set impossibly high.

Tell me this, and then I'll lay my head down on my pillow and try not to dream of little Suzy and how she will probably grow up to torture my poor, underprivileged kids all through high school. Where do you go from there? You get the kid a cell phone at six? What's next?
Mommy's to do list:
Petition DMV to lower driving age to 8. Little Suzy wants Ferrari.
Call France. Little Suzy wants to visit, but doesn't like planes. Can you move closer?

Can anyone add to Mommy's to do list?