The Girl Who Cried Wolf

Confession: Sometimes I feel guilty sending my kids off to school.

When I say I feel guilty, I should probably be a little more specific. The guilt I feel is because I really like the fact that they are off to school, and out of the house, and my hair, for a few hours every day. Is that so bad? I mean it's not like while they are gone I am running off to the spa for a manicure and a facial. I still have one child at home, and #2 is only gone for 2 1/2 hours a day. While they are gone I am usually basking in the lap of luxury by doing things like, folding laundry and scrubbing toilets- oh and blogging. But, at least I get to scrub a toilet from beginning to end without someone pulling on my arm, or having to stop twelve times to answer questions, get snacks, and wipe asses.

No, my guilt is because when my children say "Moooooommmmmmm I don't want to go to school today, I don't feel good", my first thought is not "oh no what if my child is sick?" or "come here and let me take your temperature", it is "damn it, I don't want any kids staying home with me today, I have things to do!"
Now before you go off and rebuke me as an awful, uncaring, brute of a mom, let me explain one thing. It's not as though my kids have always gotten up and ready for school with ease. It's not as if they shimmy off to the bus stop or the carpool with waving hands and smiling faces. It's not as if they send me off with a cheery "bye mom, see you after school." No way, no how. My kids come from a long line of "but, I donnn't wannnnna goooo tooo schoooool todaaaaay" kids. I did it. My sister did it. I am pretty sure my mom even did it. And we all grew out of it. But that does not help me out at 7 a.m. when I am dealing with my daughters 75th stomach ache of the week and a half old school year! Either she has some serious intestinal issues, or the kid just doesn't want to go to school. And honestly, at that hour, I am not all that invested in finding out. I just want everyone to be where they are going.

And here is where the major guilt comes in. I should probably be trying to get to the bottom of the issue. I should be asking all of the questions that my mom asked my child when I called her, crying for help. She asked #2 if she was having a problem on the bus (her first time on the bus with the "big kids"). She asked her if she didn't like her new teacher (she loves her). She asked her if she didn't like the other kids (she is making a lot of new friends). So, why didn't I ask these questions? Why was I, in my hurry to get her off to school, so reluctant to address a potential problem? I'd like to think that it is just the "boy who cried wolf syndrome" and that I am not really an awful parent. See, #2 complains a lot. She complains about every hang nail, mosquito bite and sniffle, as if it were a near fatal event. So, when she comes to me with a belly ache on a Monday morning after a fun weekend, I am quick to dismiss. And maybe a part of it is because I really don't want her to stay home from school. I mean, of course if she were sick I would want her to be home with me so that I could care for her and be with her. But, I guess I am just not as easy to accept every excuse that comes along.
Are there some moms that just take the I don't feel good, or I don't want to go to school today at face value? Am I being selfish? Or have I just heard the same old story one too many times?
When the breakfast dishes had cleared and the frantic phone calls for help had been made, (remember I am new to this full day school thing), we finally came to the conclusion that she was just having a hard time adjusting to being away from me for so long. Basically, she missed her mommy. Yes, yes, I felt like crap about it too.
So how did I fix the problem? I'd keep it from you, but since most of you have probably already condemned me as a "horrible, selfish, unfeeling mom", I'll let you know what I wound up doing. Bribery. Yes, bribery. In exchange for going to school today without any further issue, I agreed to spending some extra time with her tonight, not doing any work, and reading her extra stories. So off to school she went. Score one for the mommy? Or mommy rots in bad mommy cliche hell?

In any case, I still could use some advice on how to deal with the I'm too sick for school fake out. It has to better than what I am doing. I mean bribery is one of the great tools of parenting and all, but it will only work for so long. Oh sure I gave her the speech about how this was a one time thing, but I am sure that it won't be. Next week, she'll remember how effective the whole crying scenario was in getting what she wanted, and I'll be right back to square one. Kids are good that way.