Top Ten Reasons To Follow Me on Twitter

Confession: Twitter may be the devil.

Seriously. Yes, I am blogging about Twitter today. Not that the subject of Twitter has anything to do with parenting per se, but there are a ton of parents on there. Some who blog about it, some who don't. Some who read this blog, some who don't. I just figured that since I hadn't been very diligent about blogging for the past two weeks, I would explain one of the reasons why. I'd like to say that it was because I had been catching up with my to-do lists, going through the kids spring and summer wardrobes, or doing spring cleaning- you know stuff I am actually supposed to be doing. Unfortunately, that isn't true. However, once the subtle hints from advertisers started coming in that I had been noticeably absent from blogging for almost 2 weeks, I figured I had better get moving. I mean, how could I live without that $27.00 a month ad revenue?

So, here I am. I am back at the computer. I had to put down the Iphone. I was forced to close the Twitter Fon app. I had to try to find a way to talk once again, in more than 140 characters. While the week in parenting has been a fun one, filled with doctors visits, loose teeth, poop problems, rashes, and lots of newly learned words (can someone say idiot-face- yes my 4 year old can), I still wasn't sure what to confess today. And then it hit me. Right now, my deepest, darkest, dirtiest secret of the moment, is my Twitter addiction!

I need to make it clear that I was Tweeting away before Oprah or Ellen were on board. Before I knew that Ashton and Demi were the darlings of 140 characters, I was typing away my thoughts in 140 or less. But back then I used Twitter as a way to announce a new blog post, or let people know when I had a profound thought (remember that one tweet?). Now like so many others in Twitter-Nation, I have become accustomed to sharing every noteworthy (and not so much) move that I make. "Just took baby to poop on the potty" or "This coffee tastes like old socks". Riveting, I know. What's scary is that there are over a thousand people out there with whom I am directly sharing this information, not to mention others who just happen upon it. It's kind of like peering in the windows of people you may find interesting, but without the potential for jail time. That in essence is Twitter.

It's a good way to communicate with friends and colleagues. It's a great way to let people know what you have been doing. It's a way to share news and information that is interesting or important with a mass group of people at one time, and possibly most importantly, it is voyeurism at it finest. How else would I know that Tanis aka Redneck Mommy saw some guys penis while waiting for her son to come out of surgery? Or that Joanne aka Pundit Mom had a pedicure (and forgot to shave her legs first-oops)? Let's face it, I wouldn't. And neither would you. And that is why you are there. Or maybe that is why I am there. Whatever. Either way. I am there and you should be too. And if you are there, well, you should definitely be following me. Otherwise you will continue to miss such treasures as "Why do I use the word 'boobs' in so many of my Tweets?" and "Working on the next great American novel. Okay, cleaning toilet. Whatever.".

If it all seems a little overwhelming, trust me it's not. And following me is as easy as clicking on the link in my left sidebar that says (obviously) Follow Me on Twitter (duh). I'll even give you the top 10 reasons why you should:

10. You can keep up to date on what is going on in my fascinating life, without having to read my entire blog. No wait, scratch that.

9. Because I talk about boobs and poop there too. Um, wait, I do it a lot more interestingly here on my blog.

8. You can find out what my kids and I are up to without having to deal with my droning on and on. Wait, this is not coming out right.

Okay okay, here are some reasons to follow me and yet still read my blog.

7. I don't complain nearly as much there as I do here. Yeah, um, this is still not working.

Let me think. Oh okay wait, I've got one.

6. Because Blair Underwood and Maria Shriver follow me. I mean Blair and Maria wouldn't be following just anyone, right?

Still waiting on Ashton- ahem.

And hey how about because

5.There are 1,225 other people who are doing it. Everybody wants to be a follower right?

Damn, I am not very good at this.

4. I am racing with @UTBubble to get to a million followers like Ashton Kutcher and Larry King did. Of course, I can't rent billboards to drum up support or offer massive sums of money to charity for following me. But, I do have about 40 years to kill trying to get a million people to follow me, so what the hell.

Okay, forget 3, and 2. They were dumb anyway.

The number 1 reason why you should be following me on Twitter: I will follow you back. Unless you are some lame-o geek, spammer, stalker, or weirdo. In which case, get a life.