They Know I Could Be a Hooker, Right?

... or worse- a crackwhore. Wait- is crack whore one word?

So, I'm thinking of changing the format of this blog from the "confession" style as it has been for nearly 5 years -this style implies that I am doing something irritating or embarrassing- to "pet peeves" which rightfully implies that other people are doing things that are irritating or embarrassing. Because really, this blog has become a lot less bout me and my foibles and more about my observations of all the crap that is wrong with everybody else- and truthfully, well, that's just a lot better for me. It gets exhausting outing yourself as an idiot on a regular basis. It's far more fun to out other people as idiots. Okay, I am joking. Well half joking. I am totally serious about the changing from confessions to pet peeves part- and I am half serious about taking pleasure in other people's shortcomings. Okay, I really don't take any pleasure at all in other people's shortcomings. Still, it doesn't mean I wouldn't like to point them out to you here. Consider it... constructive criticism. It's like I'm doing a public service. Yeah, that's it... a public service.

So allow me to introduce to you my first ever pet peeve in lieu of a confession- oh by the way, the blog will still be called Mommy Confessions because, well, Mommy Peeves doesn't sound as good, and I don't feel like buying another domain name.

Also, if we could think up another name for a "pet peeve" that isn't so annoying, that'd be great. Because frankly, the words "pet peeve" are kind of a pet peeve of mine. So, let's get on that okay?

Meanwhile...

Pet peeve: Parents who don't want to meet me before they send their kids to my house to play.
What is UP with this? I mean I am talking like not even a phone call. Not a quick visit to my casa. Nothing. Zip. Nada. I am talking about a kid calling my kid and saying, "can I come over?" and then a car dropping off the kid and shouting out the window, "I'll pick him/her up around 5, okay?" And yes, that is pretty much how it's gone, on more than one occasion. Not always. Occasionally I get the mom who will ask to speak to me just to confirm that it is, in fact, okay for her to bring her kid over. But yeah, for the most part, parents have no interest in meeting their kid's friend's parents. This is a huge thing-that-we're-not-calling-pet-peeve of mine.
Of course there are exceptions- take me for example. If I have never met or spoken to you, my kid isn't coming over. If our kids are making plans to get together, I want to speak to you, And if my kid is going to be playing in your house, I want to meet you, face to face, and I want to see your house. If we're getting right down to it, I'd also like your full name, social security number, and full background check, but I'll settle for a brief 5 minute conversation where I can assess your core values and beliefs. Or at least make sure your arms aren't covered in track marks.
'Cause for real, these parents who drop their kids off sight unseen at my house, they have no. freakin'. clue. I could be a hooker. I could have clients in my bedroom while the kids are building a Lego tower in the den. I could be a drunk. Or a druggie. You could be leaving your kids in my care while I am pounding back vodka and tonics and popping Xanax like they're going out of style. You could be entrusting your child to come into my safe home, and if you're not there to at least take a little glance around, how do you know that my coffee table isn't covered with AK47's and big pile of blow? You don't. You don't! And that's what I'm saying....
A big fat pet peeve- or whatever yet to be determined word you guys are gonna come up with.

So if your gonna let your kid play with someone you don't know, talk to them first. Maybe stop by. Hell, bring a quiche. Or maybe a bottle of gin. At least then we can get drunk together while I'm watching your kids.