iMommy

Confession: I (not so) secretly enjoy my kids' entertainment.

I'm turning 40 this year. Yes, 40. And while I've had to assume the role of a 40 year old woman in many ways, like a career, raising children, maintaining a home and family, in some ways I have never grown up. Never is this fact more apparent then when I find myself alone in a room watching (and laughing at) iCarly, long after the children have left to pursue other activities. Come on, it's a good show.

Admit it, you do it too. Maybe when you turn on the television, still tuned to Nickolodeon, you pause to watch a few hours minutes of Spongebob before changing the channel. Or perhaps you find yourself sitting with the kids pretending like you are doing something important like paying the bills, while you're really smiling along to Good Luck Charlie or yes, Hannah Montana. Or maybe you find yourself giggling like a school girl to what has possibly become my new favorite show, I'm in the Band. Seriously. Have you seen it? It is laugh out loud funny. I'll take that over half of the "grown up" crap that they have on these days.

Sure I've loved my grown up shows over the years. But I'll take a good episode of Wizards of Waverly Place over Desperate Housewives any day. Sssshhh just don't tell the rest of the PTA. I just can't shake my love of the tween epics. To this day my favorite movies remain the movies I loved as a girl of 12 or 13; movies like The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink. And some of my favorite shows are shows I enjoyed when my bedtime was still 9 p.m. Wonder Years ring a bell for anyone? Kevin Arnold's era of innocence flashbacks brought me to tears every single week. How about Dawson's Creek? No one was happier than I was when Joey chose Pacey over Dawson.

I won't apologize for singing along with the gang in the High School Musical series. Nor will I deny my desire to see another Camp Rock film released, you know, once Demi Lovato gets out of rehab and all. Yep, I'm a great big old tween at heart.

And with all that said, if you find me listening to Justin Bieber, just shoot me. An almost 40 year old woman has to draw the line somewhere.

Say It Aint Snow!

Confession: I keep telling myself how much I love the snow, but I'm starting to think I'm lying.

We interrupt what would've undoubtedly been a witty, irreverent, and side splitting blog post from me today, for yet another day of- you guessed it- snow.

Looks like I won't be working on that piece about television like I had planned. It's snowing here... again. And despite my love of snow and the picturesque landscape it brings with it, I need to get shit done! It's not like I'm not already behind on a daily basis...

So here we go again. One home sick, one home from preschool, one about to be dismissed early, and I am sure they will be off tomorrow. So I am kissing my workout, my blog post, and my getting caught up on things around here, goodbye. I will be replacing these activities with several episodes of dressing and undressing kids, drying clothing repeatedly, making record numbers of snacks (apparently snow makes you hungry), mediating arguments, hot cocoa... hot cocoa... hot cocoa... and culminating in a mild to moderate breakdown.

Curse you bitches in warm climates.

Tissues on the Floor: A MLK Day Recap.

Confession: I'm hiding in the bathroom writing this post.

So much for my Martin Luther King Jr. inspired post about serving your community and your fellow man. Given this day, I'm lucky I can muster up a few minutes to blog from the toilet seat.

When I'm sick, I feel like crawling under the blankets and not surfacing until I'm well. Depending on the illness, I used to do this armed with either a box of tissues, a bottle of Tylenol, or perhaps, a bucket. Whatever was ailing me though, I had no desire at all to get up and clean, cook, dress children, fold clothes, or even... blog. Of course, I'm the mommy, so I have to do those things whether I am sick or not. But, oh to have the option. To be able to just relax, stay in bed, rest, or perhaps even (gasp) sleep! Heaven. Well, as close to heaven as one can get with a pool of snot running down their face anyway. Children on the other hand? Children, or at least my children are different. The concept of resting is hopelessly lost on them.

Today all three of the kids are having "issues". Luckily, or not so luckily depending on how you look at it, there was no school today. The plus- I get to avoid the whiny, messy, fun filled, "Do I haaaaave to go to schooool today" battle. The not so plus- I am stuck in the house with three children who are each with their own (some questionable) set of ailments. Three kids who for some inexplicable reason, love to throw their tissues on the floor. No matter what the proximity to the trashcan is, I am constantly picking up tissues. Three kids who, no matter how sick they claim to be, refuse to stay in bed; refuse to get any rest. It doesn't matter if it's the sniffles or the plague. They all want to stay home from school, but no one wants to rest or stay in bed.

Take my oldest. She will whine and whine and whine and, oh yeah, whine about how awful she feels. She even has the patented hand-to-head gasp and sigh down to a tee. You know the one I mean? The back of your hand resting delicately on your forehead as you let out a woe-is-me sigh ala Scarlett Ohara? But if a friend calls her after school and wants to play, she suddenly has a recovery more miraculous then that of that dude who fell like 50 floors out a window a couple of years ago and survived. Remember him? No? Well, that shit was crazy.

And then there's my boy, my baby. The boy is in a full blown asthma crisis- a crisis to the point where I am staying up half the night so I can check on him frequently to make sure he doesn't need his treatments in the middle of the night, or worse, another trip to the ER. Can I get him to sit still for a minute though? No. Can I get him to relax and watch a movie, or play a game so he isn't running around exerting all of that energy when he can barely take a full breath while standing still? Not a chance. The kid has more energy than a whirling dervish on crack. The child never sits down, rarely stand still, and isn't about to let a little thing like a wheezing and coughing slow him down. But school? Well, he definitely is "too sick to go to school."

A full blown sick kid extravaganza wouldn't be complete without my middle child. There's actually nothing wrong with her today. She has what we like to call not-so-sympathetic-sympathy illness. You see, her brother and sister are both sick and getting attention, and she's pissed. So she pretends to be sick with whatever illness she can conjure up at the moment (generally changing hourly). This morning it was laryngitis, right now a headache. But even in her faux illness mode, she is still bouncing off the walls. This child has been bouncing off the walls for days now. I'd say the only illness she has is possible overdose of the massive amount of caffeine someone apparently slipped her when I wasn't looking. No, seriously, if the child wasn't 6 years old, I'd think she was running a meth lab out of her bedroom. That is how much energy we are talking about. But in spite of expending what has to be an exhausting amount of energy, and the ramifications of her feigned illnesses, she too has no desire to relax, rest, or lay down.

I have three kids. In all the times that they've been sick, with all the varying illnesses they've had, from ear infections to indigestion, from colic to the common cold, I have seen each of my kids sick enough to actually want to rest in bed once. Once. The rest of the time, it's business as usual, no matter how much they complain or how high the numbers on the thermometer rise. I guess I should be happy that they are feeling well enough to bounce around the house in spite of being sick. Unfortunately for me, the school district isn't interested in my-- if you're well enough to play, you're well enough to go to school-- rule. And so I'm stuck here with kids that throw their tissues on the floor all day. Kids who, in one breath whine about how awful they feel, and with the next are flying off of the furniture Superman style. So, I hide in the bathroom for a few minutes, trying to piece together a blog post. Then I'll go back out to mediating fights, making lunches, and administering medications. I'll assure them that someday they are going to long for the opportunity to rest when they're not feeling well, but they may have three hyper children to prevent them from doing so. They'll just look at me and laugh. And throw their tissues on the floor.

Snow Day (Alternately titled: Revolving Door)

Confession: Snow days aren't nearly as much fun as they were when I was a kid.

Why is it that when the kids know that they are going to have a snow day, all they talk about is sledding, building snowmen, making snow angels and drinking hot cocoa? Because it all sounds fun, right? But the reality is that a snow day, while it sounds really fun and family oriented, can be about as much fun as getting root canal for me. Why? Well, how about the 2 hours of begging to go out, before I've even had a cup of coffee? Or the 300 times they tell me they are bored before I've even served breakfast? No? Well then it must be the 25 minutes it takes me to get all the kids into their snow pants, hats, gloves, and boots- only to have them whining at the door roughly 10 minutes later to come in because they are "colllllllllld". And to have to repeat this process roughly 5 or 6 times throughout the day? Dress everyone up, send them out, start to do something, after 5 minutes undress whiny children, make hot cocoa, put wet clothes in dryer... and repeat... and repeat... and repeat... and REPEAT.

So, to lessen the blow of the snow-day, and to make it a little more fun for you too, some snow day rules to follow:

Make no plans to get anything done. You won't. Don't even try.

Keep lots of hot cocoa on hand.

Dry towels on the floor by the door(s) work well for the endless parade of in and out all day.

Don't bother putting anything in the dryer. You'll need it 6 or 7 times for snow stuff.

The best thing to do? Relax. Smile. Join in the fun. And don't make any plans for the day they go back to school either, because you'll likely spend it cleaning the snow-day aftermath and doing all the things you needed to get done yesterday. And if it's a really big snow, and they have off more than one day, well, you're pretty much screwed.

Snow Day. Or not. Whatever.

Confession: I'm not ready for more quality family time just yet.

It is. It isn't. It will. It won't. And so goes the ongoing weather saga here in the Delaware Valley. Here I was thinking that after just one week back at school the kids were going to be home with me again for a snow day or two. Sandwiched right between winter break and an extended weekend next week for Martin Luther King Day, I expected to have to entertain the kids for another day or two, when school would be inevitably canceled for the foot-and-a-half of snow we were supposed to receive. Or not. But maybe. Whatever.

I had a post all planned entitled "Screw the Snow", a romantic diatribe about how I finally reclaimed the post-holiday house, only to lose it again to a little midweek snow vacation. But, scrap that. Or not. Whatever.

A few days ago the call was for "as much as 18-20 inches" dumped onto our area. Yesterday I could only get reports of "snow showers", which led my non-weather watching husband to believe that I was crazy and that no such massive storm was forecast in the first place. Not like he needs another reason to think I'm nuts. Or maybe he does. Whatever.

This morning's forecast calls for 3-6" likely for our area. Unless you watch the other channel, which calls for 6-12". Or maybe you watch the other, other channel, which is taking the noncommittal approach an forecasting "definite accumulating snow in our area"...ummmm...ok. Three different stations, three different forecasts, and my husband is still calling for snow showers. Or not. Whatever.

So maybe the kids will have school. Or maybe they won't. Maybe I should be planning some exciting, day-off activities for them. Or maybe I shouldn't. All I know is that if you're going to the grocery store, pack a book, and maybe a lunch, because when the forecast calls for snow, whether it's snow showers or the blizzard of the century, that place is jamming. Everybody knows you have to stock up on bread, milk, butter and eggs, so that you can be snowed in the house for 13 hours. Apparently french toast must be the national dish of snowstorms. So get your butt to the market and plan your activities. Or not. Whatever.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

Confession: I'm reeeeaallly excited to send the kids back to school today!

Don't get me wrong. Right before the kids went on winter break, I had high expectations of the holidays. Dreams of sipping hot cocoa by the fire, bundled up kiddies playing in the snow drifts, and of course the glory of Christmas morning, all filled my head. I'd envisioned myself and my three little cherubs playing for hours with all of the loot they'd made off with from their stops along the holiday trail. My visions were true, for about a day. Okay, maybe it was more than a day that we enjoyed the magical holiday aftermath. But my head is too busy pounding from all of the noise that the new toys make to really think straight.

Maybe this makes me a bad parent, maybe not. But my fingers are sore from picking up pine needles, my back hurts from packing up decorations, and my tolerance for hearing "moooommmm we're boooorrred" after plunking down a small fortune for new toys just a week ago, is causing me to think of only one thing: SCHOOL!

Remember this video? I know it's not Christmas in this video, but man, did this guy hit the nail on the head or what? Maybe school days full of lunch packing, homework doing, and various other school related activities are no walk in the park either, but right now THIS is all I can think of:

We had a fantastic holiday. I could never, ever complain about it. The kids had a ball and so did we. But, I know you feel my pain. I know that the sweet sound of the approaching school bus is going to be likened to winning the lottery for some of you as well. Maybe next week when I'm elbow deep in book reports and math drills, I'll be longing for the sweet relaxed pace of the holiday break (yeah sure), but for now all I can think about is the ringing of that school bell and how it will be like music to my ears.

Happy Holidays

I got a lot of emails about my last post. ALOT of emails. It occurred to me that with so many wonderful storytellers out there, I am sure my story pales in comparison to some of the wonderful holiday stories that you may have to share. So I decided to put up a linky so that anyone with a holiday story (good, bad, or ugly- we like ugly) could tell it- and everyone could find it right here in one place. So if you put the story of your own holiday memories, antics or escapades on your blog, go ahead and link it here. If you haven't shared your holiday tales with your readers, maybe now is the time! Please pass this on. And have a Happy New Year!