Mangia! Only not quite so much please.

Welcome to 'No Confession Wednesdays'! Or as I also like to call it- the day where I can't think of anything clever and appropriate for this spot. 

Luckily, or perhaps due to a great deal of work and dedication to healthful eating on my part (though luck is probably more like it) none of my kids have a weight issue. I know there are all kinds of reasons why childhood obesity is such an epidemic in our country, and someday, I might have a serious enough blog that I will touch on those issues. But for now, I just wanna talk about my problems. Well, yours too. I guess. But mostly mine- because that’s what we do here.

My 10 year old daughter is average weight and very athletic. My 5 year old son is well, about as average as you can get, scoring 50th percentile for height and weight at his last checkup. And my almost 8 year old is actually pretty tiny, weighing in at barely 50 lbs. So why is it that I feel like I’m raising a band of Sumo wrestlers (no offense to any of my Sumo-esque pals out there)?

These kids are eating me out of house and home!

I’ve gone from shopping at the market to shopping at a wholesale club so that I can get bigger quantities, to being nearly ready to just throw 3 troughs of food out on the floor and let them have at it! 

So, do tell, what are you spending on food? Because I am both interested for my personal peace of mind, and also compiling this information for my dissertation- okay I lied about the dissertation part, but you should still totally help me out here. I really want to know where we are on this. I have asked this question before on Facebook, and on Twitter, and the answers I have gotten range from “a mere pittance each week” to “taking out a second mortgage to pay our grocery bill”. I find myself closer to latter. 

How many adults in your home? How many children? Any pets? How often do you grocery shop? What is your food budget? Weekly? Monthly?

Please feel free to share this on social media outlets and with friends. There will be a follow up post at some point, and if you feel the need, you can comment anonymously- though I say “man up” and tell it like it is!

Thanks.

Signed, Pantsless in Pennsylvania

Today instead of a confession, we start with a disclaimer: This post is really depressing. For real. It's like what would happen if you created a bitching club and merged it with Whiners Anonymous and then took away everybody's Zoloft.

As for the title, yes I am aware that I live in New Jersey, but I am from PA and the title just sounds so much better than Pantsless in NJ, don't ya think?

Plus with Jersey Shore and Jerseylicious and Mob Wives and all that crap- Pantsless in NJ sounds like just another day of bad reality t.v., right?

So here I am, in New Jersey not Pennsylvania, sitting around being secretly jealous of other moms- ok not so secretly since I'm blogging about it. So really just sitting around being blatantly jealous of other moms. I'm not talking about celebrity moms or New York Times best selling book published moms- though they hold a special place of jealousy for me- for now I just mean every mom. Yes, every mom on Earth, everywhere period.

Why? Mostly because I feel like they are all getting so much more done in life than I am. I feel like they're all in some secret club of getting-doneness (shut up- I told you before- my blog, my made up words) that I am not a part of.

I just know every one's house is cleaner than mine.

I just know every one's bills are all filed away neatly in a cabinet and not tossed in a box (AKA vortex) next to the desk in the basement FOR FIVE YEARS.

I just know that they all have time to APPLY MAKEUP and comb their hair and put on actual non yoga pants or pajama bottom type clothes.

And I don't get it. What am I doing wrong? Or better yet, what am I not doing wrong?

Yeah I have 3 kids. Yeah I have 2 dogs that are like having an extra kid most days. Yeah I write, I blog, I cook, I clean, I wash fold put away and repeat...repeat...repeat...repeat... but big deal.. so do a GAZILLION other women.

I know moms with 5 and 6 kids who still find the time to go to the gym every day. The gym. Hello? Seriously?

I know stay at home moms who have 4 kids home with them ALL DAY and yet whenever you seem to drop by, everything seems to be perfectly in its place and neat and tidy. So tidy that I wanna "accidentally" spill my cup of Starbucks all over the freshly mopped floor. 

I know working moms who work all week, take care of dinner, kids, etc. after they get home and still have the energy to go to book clubs one night a week, and take the kids to the zoo and the park on the weekends.

I try not to obsess over this- as a matter of fact I have made not obsessing over it a mission in my life- to a point where, well, I am obsessing over not obsessing over it.

What the hell am I doing wrong? Or what drugs am I not taking? 

Because for real- I feel like all I do ALL DAY LONG in pick up clothes, put away toys, wash dishes, and feed people. 

I feel like the house is always a mess. 

I have a list of projects as long as my arm, knowing full well that none of them will ever get done. How am I supposed to re stain the dining room set when I can’t even get the stains out of the baseball uniforms?

Every day I set out with a plan- a plan of what I could feasibly get done that day. Maybe it’s pulling up all the weeds in the garden. Maybe it’s reorganizing the filing cabinet so that maybe, you know, files can actually go in it. 

But at the end of the day, I have done the same things every single day. I’ve gotten up, fed dressed and sent off the kids. Put in laundry. Emptied the dishwasher. Switched laundry. Made the beds. Folded laundry. Planned dinner. Put away laundry. Retrieved child 1. Made lunch. Probably more laundry. Retrieved other children. Helped with homework. Pretty sure there's laundry involved here. Made dinner. I'm starting to see dryer sheets in my sleep. Cleaned up from dinner. Gotten everyone ready for bed. I swear to *** I am gonna break this ****ing washing machine.

And even if I could pull myself away from the treadmill of domesticity that I ride every day, I still have my doubts that there’d be a shred of difference. 

You see, I seldom have a moment to complete a task before the children are bellowing for something. When I do decide to take a moment to say, write this blog post, I will inevitably hear the cries of all 3 kids on at least 2 different occasions. Usually the cries are proceeded by moooooom I want..... mooooooom I need..... or mooooom so and so did......... and there goes the neighborhood! I am off again riding the treadmill. By the time dust settles, most of the time I have forgotten what I had started to do, or like in the case of this post, have had to come back to it 12 or 13 times just to get it done. 

Most of this mind you, is my own doing. I would probably get more done if I actually waited until the end of the day to go around and clean EVERYTHING up at once instead of doing it every 15-20 minutes throughout the entire day. I’m not exactly sure who I am afraid will see a “mess” or why i care, but apparently I do.

Not to mention if I didn’t have a fear of leaving my kids unsupervised for more than 3 minutes at a time for fear of what they are going to mess up/ get into/ destroy. 

And don’t even get me started on prioritizing or organizing. (What do you mean sitting up pinning pictures of nice kitchens on Pinterest until 1 a.m. isn't a priority?) For real? By then it’s too late to get anything REAL done anyway. 

Half the time I feel like I am just getting by, living day to day, just trying to get through to the next one without the house falling down around me. Geez, it sounds a lot suckier than it is really. 

It’s just that some days I just feel like a machine. Like I am living life on auto-pilot and I don’t know how to steer myself anymore. Can we say- priorities- out- of- whack? I mean, I don't even bother to appropriately dress myself most days. I mean, I just have to get back into my pajamas later anyway! As long as there's no dishes in the sink, no dog hair on the floor, who cares if I haven't washed my hair in 3 days, right? 

Hell, I walk around pantless half the time because if I start getting dressed, the bellows begin. It’s like they sense the fabric softener hitting my body. (I bet you were beginning to wonder where I was going with the whole title thing, weren't ya?)

So as I wander the house pantsless, with kids screaming at each other, begging for snacks, and whatever else kids do, I wonder... CAN I BE THE ONLY ONE? PLEASE DEAR LORD DO NOT LET ME THE ONLY ONE!!! But, I fear that I am. The only pantsless, exhausted, frustrated, haven't had a manicure in 8 years, mom. The only mom that is so time deprived and organizationally challenged that she literally can't even put her pants on.

If it weren't so pathetic, I just might cry. But instead I will laugh. I laugh because there’s really nothing else to do. I’ll laugh because frowning gives you wrinkles way faster. I’ll laugh because I wrote this entire post pantless. And I laugh because after torturing me with the most inane requests for hours and hours on end finally...FINALLY.... one of the kids looks up at me and says, “MOM! Where are your pants?!” 

Come on Over to my Crib

So, as I have mentioned before, my sister is expecting her first baby. I am so excited to be taking the baby journey again, since my diaper days are over. My kids are 10, 7 and 5, so we are out of all things baby at the moment. Spending this time looking at baby clothes, shopping for trinkets and toys, has been very exciting- and a little scary! A lot can change in the baby world in just a few years. Seems like every time I shop for a friend or family member who is expecting, the products and services available have changed again. Some of what was cutting edge when my now 10 year old was born, is now almost obsolete.

Having this site, I get a lot of emails from companies who provide products and services to parents both new and old. So whenever I find a useful product or service, I like to pass it on. I always love the sites that do all the legwork for me most of all. Sure some may see it as lazy, I see it as savvy.
If you are a new or expectant mom who is currently shopping around for cribs and crib mattresses right now, I've found something that can help. A site that gives you not only the top rated crib mattresses at your fingertips, but also provides reviews, information on cribs and crib accessories, plus a host of crib safety information and answers.

If you want to know 'how a crib mattress should fit' or 'how much you should spend on a crib' than this is a site you'll want to check out.

It's amazing how fast they grow. A crib and mattress are one of the first big investments you'll make for your baby. Don't leave it to chance. Do your homework. Visit them today.


**This is a sponsored/compensated post. The owner(s) of this blog have been compensated to provide opinions on a product, services, or website. All opinions and findings are honest and completely our own. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are based on our first hand use of the products, services or sites described.**

Deja Vu

Confession: I suck at prioritizing.

Or maybe it's time management that I suck at. Or something else entirely. Whatever the thing is that prevents you from having to do the same 3 or 4 tasks over and over and over again each day- yeah, I suck at that. It's like deja vu all the time.

I mean, you have no idea how many times I do the same things over again in one day.

I mean, you have no idea how many times I do the same things over again in one day.

I pick up the same toys. I clean the same rooms. I put away the same stuff... over and over and over again.

There was a time that I used to wait until the end of the day to pick up all the toys that would collect around the house. I'd wait until the kids were asleep to fold laundry and wash dishes. That didn't last long. The constant voice of my Grandmom in the back of my head telling me that you never know when company might drop by, kept me from leaving the pile of toys on the playroom floor, or the unfolded laundry sitting on the dining room able. I mean, everyone knows if a neighbor drops by to borrow a cup of sugar- which happens all the time (in 1970's sitcoms)- they will certainly think less of you and spread horrible, gossipy rumors around town if there is an unwashed cup in your sink.
Still, for a while I was able to justify the mess. Having a preschooler, a toddler and an infant made it okay. When the neighbors dropped by (which never, ever happened) I could always use the desperate, frazzled, mom excuse. And that totally would have worked too.

But all good things must come to an end. Just like using baby weight as an excuse for that last 10 or 15 lbs is no longer acceptable when the "baby" is going to first grade, so too must you at some point reclaim your home from the throws of babydom.

So now I walk aimlessly through the house picking up a sock here, wiping down a mirror there, putting an abandoned cup in the dishwasher. And once I've washed off whatever that sticky stuff is all over the counter... I can go back and do it over again as new fingerprints cover the mirror, someone else has tossed their socks aside, and 3 more cups have grown in the place of the one I removed.

I really, really want to be one of those moms that has no qualms about having company drop by despite the piles of papers on the dining room table, or the stack of unopened mail piled on the kitchen counter. But, I can't. Something in my biological make-up won't allow it. No matter how many times I tell myself it's more important to have fun with the kids and play games and be silly now- because the cleaning will always be there- I still can't stop thinking about those 3 dishes sitting on the counter from lunch while playing checkers with the kids.

And the process never ends. Because once I go pick up those dishes, they will remind me that I have a load of wash to do. And when I come back from putting in the wash, I'll pick up a toy- a toy I just put away 4 times this morning. And while putting away that toy, I'll walk by the bathroom, where I'll notice toothpaste all over the sink. And while cleaning up the toothpaste, I'll notice a towel on the floor. While walking to put the towel in the wash, I'll notice a jacket on the stairs that needs to be hung- one that I hung up earlier that day. And while I'm hanging the jacket again, I'll see a piece of trash on the floor. And when I get back to the kitchen to throw away that piece of trash, 3 new dishes will be sitting on the table where the old one used to be....

...and this is my lot in life. Don't get me wrong- my house is far from perfect. There's toys in every room, it's totally disorganized, and I have every paper sent home by the school for the past month sitting on the counter- or stuck to the fridge- in triplicate. But, it's a managed chaos. And one I'll have to deal with until my kids all (hopefully) go away to college. Because, once they hit the dorms, they're on their own. And then I'll just have that one last "kid" at home to clean up after....

Baby Bjorn Giveaway

As promised the last of the 3 posts for giveaways for today. This does not mean the Blogaversary fun is over... stay tuned....

This is one of my favorites! I love me some Baby Bjorn stuff. And when mine were sloppy eating age, okay sloppy-ER eating age, this was awesome! Yes it is the Baby Bjorn soft bib.

No really. It's the only bib you'll ever need.
The bib has a front pocket to catch stray foods and liquids to prevent messes. It's mess proof. Plus it is soft and smooshy, unlike some other spill catching bibs out there.
AND it's made of safe, high-quality PVC-free BPA-free plastic that retains its shape while staying flexible. AND it's dishwasher-safe material is easy to clean or just wipe with a little soap and water.

So yeah, you know you want to win it. Even if you don't have a baby, I'm sure you know someone who does. Or save it as a great shower or new baby gift! I assure you, it's awesome. Now go enter. And share. I know it lowers your chances of winning-- but it's the right thing to do!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Nanny Wisdom Giveaway

Blogaversay madness continues as we give away a copy of Justine Walsh and Kim Nicholson's Nanny Wisdom: Our Secrets for Raising Healthy, Happy Children From Newborns to Preschoolers.

Just follow the directions below to be entered to win. And check out our other giveaways going on right now!



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Microsoft Office Home & Business Giveaway

Keepin' the party going....
Giving away a copy of Microsoft Office for Home and Business featuring Word, Excel, Power Point, One Note and Outlook.

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Blogaversary Madness: Giveaway 1

ROBERT HASTY PHOTOGRAPHY GIVEAWAY

This week there is no confession. (Insert gasp here)
It's a rarity, but it does happen. As I mentioned before, Mommy Confessions is celebrating our 5th birthday. And in keeping with the spirit of 5 years of blogging, there will be 5 giveaways in the coming days. Be sure to enter, tweet, post and share this information. I know... I know... the less you share, the better your chances of winning- but, karma and all that...

Today I want to introduce you to Robert Hasty Photography. Specializing in fine art, nature photography, and home decor prints, Robert Hasty's work is truly beautiful. Seriously, every photo is a complete work of art. The man is gifted. And I say that having known him since I was a mere 17 years old-- (when he was not nearly as gifted).

But, my old friend with the incredible eye has graciously agreed to provide one lucky reader with a gorgeous 8 x 12 print of THEIR CHOICE from his store. And trust me... you totally want one!

So you're probably asking, "what do I have to do to win one of these ?" Well, I'll tell you. All you need to do is visit Robert Hasty Photography and look at his work. Come back here and tell me which print you would choose if you won. That's it.
A winner will be picked at random (using random.org) on Monday March 12th.

You can receive additional entries by doing the following:
Follow Hasty Photo on Facebook for 3 additional entries (Yes, we have to check)
Follow Mommy Confessions on Facebook for 3 additional entries
Follow me on twitter @michellew_ for 2 additional entries
Tweet about this giveaway for 5 additional entries (please leave the link to your tweet in the comments section)

So, get cracking. One of these breathtaking prints will look really nice on your wall- trust me.

Go Mommy... It's your... Blogaversary!

Confession: I started this blog on a whim-- I didn't think it would last a year.

Here I am. It's the 5th anniversary of Mommy Confessions. This blog has become so much more than just words on a screen. It has become a part of me. It's what I do. It's an extension of who I am. There are many people who don't know me as anything other than Mommy Confessions.

And while I continue to work on other projects and endeavors, I will always come back to where it all began for me-- right here on Mommy Confessions.

To all of the supportive and wonderful readers I have had over the years--- the thousands of people who have made me feel validated in my work by subscribing to my blog, following me on Twitter and Facebook, and most importantly, emailing and commenting about my work-- THANK YOU!

Of course there has to be more than that, right? I mean, 5 stinkin' years you stick by me and all you get is a lousy thank you? Of course not. In honor of my 5th anniversary, I will be doing 5 giveaways this month. The first of which I will announce later this week-- so check back often!

And if you have not done so, be sure to go and like our brand new Facebook page. Yes, we just started a Facebook page. I know-- we're like 4 years late, but whatever...
To the almost 4,000 of you who are following us on Facebook's Networked Blogs, you will still be able to follow us there, but by subscribing to our new page you can get post updates and information all in one place.

So go... like...share... subscribe... follow me on Twitter... like me on Facebook...

There will be rewards. And also cookies. Always cookies.


P.S. If you're looking for the perfect Blogaversary gift... do me a solid and take our survey: Click here to take survey

Where does it come from?

Confession: There is a great mystery of parenting that is presently eluding me... can you help?

This is what my floor looks like. A (relatively) clean section of hardwood floor from my dining room. 

This is the same exact piece of floor give or take an inch or two) five minutes later. Note the debris. The tiny pieces of paper. The crumbs. 

This occurs after my kids walk by. Just walk by. Empty handed. That's it. 

Look.... here's another example...

The rug. Yes, it is dirty, but that's how it always looks. The important thing to note is that it was just vacuumed. Now, here it is just seconds after my 3 little tornadoes came running in from another room- presumably one that they just messed up as well.

That is the same floor. Unretouched. A minute later. For real. Note that is a Barbie shoe, a tiny water bottle from some random game, dirt, paper, and what appears to be straw, because apparently, we live in a barn. 

Can anyone, ANYONE, explain this phenomenon to me? I am convinced that my kids poop out trash. Little pieces of trash and debris just shoot out of their butts at will as they walk down the hall. 

Is there any other explanation?